It’s a question I couldn’t find much information on, but a question I just had to ask.
After holding my baby in one hand and the walker in the other. Ready to position her right outside the door whilst I go toilet. I couldn’t help, but feel, a little alone. Instead of getting down about it (again), I had to accept it, I am a single mother.
Hi, I am Mother of a beautiful 5month old girl. I had always imagined parenthood shared with my partner or at least, a partner. Most single mothers out there will know, it don’t always work out like that. I am sure none of us wanted to end up on our own. I had to choose between my boyfriend and my baby as he couldn’t watch a child put an end to his “amazing” youth. (We are 27 and 28) So here I am alone.
I have been planning how to start my blog for months. I am a fashion graduate and an all round deep thinker. So I wanted to combine my world into one blog. I am due to move out into my new home in January. The aim was to take my readers on my journey of how I will be setting up my perfect habitat that will ooze positive energy and will put me in a zone where I can design and create with ease. At the same time building the perfect home for me and my daughter.
However all that planning has blown out the window and I will now just get on with it and write. As I am learning, being a single parent is not about planning anymore, it’s straight doing.
So as I prepare for toilet time I had to ask, how are other new mums doing this?
My daughter is amazing, but her naps last 20 minutes and she is attached to my presence. As long as I am somewhere she is fine. So I find myself leaving the toilet door open and putting her in the walker in the hallway. I can’t help, but feel wrong about having her near when I need to go toilet. If I wait for her to go to sleep the moment passes. The Internet is flooded with tips and advice on being a new mum, but yet it’s a topic rarely mentioned. Do we all feel to crude to ask the question? Are we all just getting on with it the best we can. But if you are like me having to go to the toilet as a single parent is one of them moments that remind you, you doing this on your own.
So I asked a few of my friends, most of them are still with their partners, but I have heard that at times it can still feel like you are doing it on your own.
They seem to have a similar tactics as my own which is to go toilet with the door open and have them sat in sight.
The two friends who have toddlers said that they tend to come in and ask questions about what mummy was doing.
So that’s it toilet privacy seems to have come to an end for next few years. Not only the toilet, but long baths, doing things with two hands, nearly everything down to thinking have become a luxury.
Mums and single parent dads, if nobody has told you, your doing a good job. No one can really prepare you for being a parent. It’s all trial and error with no praise. So I congratulate you all.
Charlene Louise Lynch – 28 – Fashion Graduate, Designer, Writer, Poet and Mum